The night my mother died, I played handball instead of making
my nightly visit to the hospital. My dad
frantically tried to reach me, but it wasn’t till I got out of the shower and
picked up the phone that I realized I’d chosen the wrong night for
handball. When I returned from my Army tour,
I had much to let go before I could start a new life, and like most returning soldiers
really didn’t know where to start. In a weird
way, I had doubts about walking around without my flak vest, 45 pistol, M16, and
dog tags.
Today is a cancer care day, starting with lab work followed
up by a visit with my oncologist this afternoon. My cancer journey has changed the way I
respond to the doubts and regrets that rise up.
Don’t get me wrong, I’ve got a long way to go, but I’ve learned not to
let doubts and regrets overwhelm my life energy. It’s focusing on the “now” that provides a
grace opening up my heart and sustaining my life energy.
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