Lightning Strike a Heart

It was a bad thunderstorm for the White Mountains and several times we had the hikers drop their packs, spread out and adopt the “lighting position” we’d taught and practiced at basecamp.  The kids were scared, and I was scared, so when the storm moved off we were relieved, but now we had a new issue, we were cold, wet, tired, and the storm had driven us off the trail.  I remember holding one of the kids as he cried, telling me he was too tired to go on as darkness covered us.  As we stood there, a faraway lightning strike lit up the sky and I saw a glimpse of our trail slowly winding 100 feet below.  Most of the Thanksgiving long weekend I rested, exhausted by my tooth extraction and starting back on both oral chemos.  We’ve all been there, tired, wet, and feeling lost.  Sunday, I spent time with my grandkids, and at the end of the day I caught a glimpse of the trail slowly winding down off the lonely places we all sometimes go.  Lightning strike someone’s heart this week and help them glow.  

Gratitude Bracelets

With George Winston’s “December” album playing in the background, my abscessed tooth finally out and the real feeling that healing has begun, I realize I have so much to be thankful for this Thanksgiving eve.  Many of you have connected to the stories in my life blog and shared with me your stories, growing our understanding together about this awesome journey we call life.  Yesterday, a short piece I’d written about gratitude bracelets was published in Cancercerwise, an MD Anderson blog site written by cancer survivors and caregivers to provide support and inspiration for others along their cancer journey.  I wanted to share this piece with you as my Thanksgiving gift to all of you who have joined me in my journey.  You may decide to make gratitude bracelets a part of your Thanksgiving traditions.  Be Well – Be Grateful – bill  

Gratitude Bracelet Making

Gift of Gratitude

My dad visited several days before my back fusion in the mid-70’s, but couldn’t stay for the surgery.  However, it didn’t matter, for my mom who had died years before came to me during the surgery, and then sat with me for days after in the recovery room calming my fears as she shared the joy she’d experienced in our short life together.  I remember waking up in the recovery room expecting to see my mom sitting by the bed.  She wasn’t there, but her faith and gratitude in the goodness of life was, a gift I had watched her live through her cancer journey.  Exactly one month ago I started the pain, sinus infection saga with my abscessed tooth, and today MD Anderson dental will extract it.  Last night’s memories of my mom’s care during my back fusion underlined once again the gift of gratitude we all receive – all we have to do is accept it, and live it.  As you prepare for the holiday, may you live the gift of gratitude.    

Thanksgiving Meal Traditions

What are your favorite Thanksgiving meal traditions that ensure those around the table share the spirit of gratefulness and love?  You have a few days to prepare and I have a few suggestions. 

1.    Cut out rectangle scraps of paper and have each guest write one thing they are grateful for on the paper.  Make a gratitude chain that can grow each with each Thanksgiving and be hung at this time of the year in the kitchen as a reminder of past years thankfulness. 

2.    Put all the guest names in a hat and take turns drawing names and giving thanks for one thing about the person they picked.

3.    Have guest write one thing they are thankful for and put these in a hat.  Pull the notes out and see who can guess which guest wrote what.

4.    Use a tree branch with fall leaves to make a memory tree hung with pictures of memories that will bring smiles and good stories.

5.    There is no better way to show gratitude than by serving others.  Have each guest serve another their Thanksgiving plate.

6.    Place 5 kernels of corn at each place setting and before the meal tell how in the cold, harsh winter of 1621, sometimes only 5 kernels of corn were rationed out to eat.  But even the small size of the ration was viewed as a blessing.  It’s not the size of our blessings that matter, but being grateful for the small ordinary things in life that make life so very special. 

7.    Before the meal have guests that are interested write a Thanksgiving poem or pray to be used at the meal. 

I hope these ideas remind you of your own Thanksgiving meal traditions and get you thinking of new ways to honor the holiday by ensuring gratitude is at the center of the celebration.  

Mindful Breathing Spaces

The last few days I’ve been running around to meetings, coaching, and teaching.  However, I’ve gotten pretty good at snatching a few minutes throughout the day to grab “mindful breathing space”.  We all take structured and random breaks during the day for physiologic and psychological rest, but we need breaks where we give full attention to ourselves and our spirits.  Mindful breathing space refreshes us, reset our attitude, significantly reduces stress, and engages our spirit in a way that reenergizes our passion for being our best.  Are you taking mindful breathing spaces during your day?  Mindful breathing space = one minute of full awareness or checking in, a second minute focused only on your breathing, and the last minute taking your awareness into your thoughts and emotions expanding the possibilities of being your best!

Rainbow Bubble of Love

This morning a cab pulled up next to me at a stoplight with his windows down and radio blaring “You’ve Lost that Lovin’ Feeling.  As we drove off, we traded thumbs up and the music took me back to the Laughter Yoga class I taught yesterday.  It was a small class of four women, all cancer survivors, one was very weak and had trouble standing.  At the start of the class, I always ask what role humor or laughter plays in their lives.  I was somewhat taken back for all agreed that there was little humor or laughter in their lives or cancer journeys.  Laughter yoga is one of the toughest classes I teach because attitude, letting go, and being playful is hard when scared.  But this class worked and by the end of the class we all felt the rainbow bubble of love that surrounded us.  We were all standing by our chairs with big smiles, none of us wanted to stop, for we’d shared that “lovin’ feeling”, and didn’t want to let it go.  Surround yourself with a rainbow bubble of love today and THRIVE!   

Attitude of Gratitude

Yesterday, I taught about “joy” in a class with caregivers and cancer survivors.  As I listened to individuals describe the joy in their lives, I was reminded of my own cancer journey and the importance that gratitude plays in moving me away from the fear and anger into a place where ordinary moments become special.  A 23 year, 4^th stage breast cancer survivor talked about reading at night to her granddaughter and her gratitude for granddaughter snuggles.  A young mom with thyroid cancer talked about her fatigue, daily stress, and fear because she really doesn’t have the energy for work or being the mom she wants to be for her young kids. 

We all know these feelings for life has gotten way to complex, and most of us are facing constant change in our work and home lives.  What are the daily wellness practices that help you deal with these times?  Have you included gratitude in these practices?  If not, you must for an attitude of gratitude brings a peaceful calm that resets your well-being, strengthens your resilience and increases the opportunity for you to be the best you can be!

What are you grateful for at home?
What are you grateful for at work?
What are you grateful for in life?

Remember an attitude of gratitude gives you more moments of being who you want to be! 

Teach Your Soul to Wander

I’d driven 18-wheelers all summer following the pea crops in Washington State, and it was time to head back to college, but I had dreamed all summer of surfing California.  The bus from Walla Walla took me to Portland, and from Portland to Redding California.  My flight home was out of Los Angeles, so I started hitchhiking south along U.S. highway 101, borrowing boards and surfing along the way.  My nights were filled with solitude where the only sound was the seductive whispering voice of the waves that taught my soul to wander.  When our souls wander and we are drawn into deep reflective thought, with each breath we open and take in so much more of ourselves, an intimacy only we can share with the symphony of life.  Have you taught your soul to wander?  

Expanded Sense of Life

Her husband attended a Sunday school class I taught, but I didn’t really know her.  Charlie ask me to start visiting with them, for she was dying and I was a hospice volunteer for VITAS.  Her last stages of life where very stressful for her and the family, and as I walked out into the evening after her passing I was physically exhausted, but filled with an expanding sense of life.  Most mornings I pray for the courage, faith, and life energy to be filled with an ever expanding sense of life.  It’s so easy in a cancer journey to be narrowed by fear, self-pity, and loss of hope, lessening our sense of things and shrinking our hearts.  I have learned that by sharing the seeds of my expanding sense of life in the morning with others, my heart like an opening flower touched by morning dew opens more fully to life moments.  Expand your sense of life today!

Connecting to the Now

Almost immediately, after my body cast was cut off, and I had started to gain strength, I headed back to school.  I worked as a Resident Assistant (RA) and lived at Kerr Hall my first semester at UNT.  My second semester, I started teaching and research assistantship positions, so I left my RA job and moved to a rooming house called the Red Ghetto that was across from the College of Music.  My room had a bed, stove, small refrigerator, and a bathroom.  It did not have a kitchen sink or heater, so I washed my dishes in the bathtub, and used the stove as a heater. 

My neighbors name was Sue, and we both were involved in long-distance relationships that made life and school hard.  Our bathrooms backed up against each other, and one morning we discovered we could talk through the plywood wall.  This led to sharing suppers, and evenings sitting outside sharing our dreams.  Sue and I moved from the Red Ghetto into a garage apartment with two separate living spaces.  Life and school got easier, and our long-distance relationships thrived, for Sue and I better connected each other to the “now”.  Surround yourself with people that better connect you to the NOW!      

Veterans Day Memories

My dad flew WWII and Korea, so I was proud to sign up for ROTC at LSU.  I remember carrying the guidon my first year of ROTC.  I remember how my training as a Bengal Raider prepared me for Ranger School.  I remember my basic training at Fort Sill, and the two friends in my squad at Fort Sill that would later die in Vietnam.  I remember the day I graduated from college, had a birthday, and was commissioned a 2nd Lieutenant.  I remember my first parachute jump, and the first time I jumped a jet.  I remember my first ride in a Huey, and my first ride in a Chinook.  I remember shooting the M1, M16, M60, 45 pistol, and the M67 recoilless rifle.  I remember going to work every day with a flak vest and helmet, carrying my M16 / 420 rounds, 45 pistol / 21 rounds, and my combat knife. 

I have life long memories of riding in medivacs where there was too much blood and pain.  I have life long memories of holding the first soldier to die in my arms.  I have life long memories of firing my M16 at someone that was shooting at me.  I remember being promoted to 1st Lieutenant and Captain, and then Tenneco forcing me to resign my Reserve Commission in exchange for their willingness to pay for a Ph.D.  I could never pay back what the GI Bill gave me by making graduate school possible.  I could never pay back what my 4 years active duty, and 10 years Army Reserves gave me in confidence, self-esteem, resilience, belief in team, and my ability to thrive in the best and worst of times.  I am a proud very grateful Vet.  Wish a Vet, “Happy Veterans Day today!”

  

Joy of Being

There is only now.  We breathe, we think, we walk, we talk, we play, we work, we meditate, we pray, but along the way we have to constantly remind ourselves that life unfolds in the present.  It’s so easy to get absorbed in the hope and fears of the future or ruminate about the past, as our minds like a movie mix scenes from the past, present, and future.  This way of life becomes addicting as our thoughts begin to control us, and we let the joy of present moments slip away.  Yesterday, as I sat in a waiting room, I watched an elderly couple, she had a freshly picked flower in her hands, and his tired eyes held a joyful twinkle as he watched her fascination with the flower.  I took a deep breath, closed my eyes, and rested in the stillness of just being.  Get caught up in just being today.    

Afterimage

It was close to dusk as I was riding home after a long day filled with intense emotions surrounding changes at work.  The street was very busy, and the sidewalk ahead was filled with people trying to cross the intersection to catch the oncoming METRORail.  Traffic was moving very slow when out the corner of my eyes I saw him.  He was older, had a beard, but was still wearing his worn out Army fatigues.  His eyes followed mine and he raised his hand and he gave me a worn out smile – and then he was gone.  He hadn’t limped into my life for years, but when he did I knew he was an afterimage burned into my soul in a past life, a reminder to believe in the goodness of life, as he had.  We all have family, friends, and afterimages in our lives that help us look beyond the broken moments, and realize not all life is broken – we just have to believe!  I wiped the tears, as I waited for the Light Rail to pass, feeling the goodness of life return through the blessing of an afterimage.  Be an afterimage of goodness for someone today.  

New Beginnings

Third grade was tough and by the end of the year I still was having trouble talking, holding my pencil correctly, writing & spelling, and just fitting in.  That summer my mom took me to the LSU Speech Lab where they made a recording of me talking.  As I listening to the recording, I was shocked at my baby voice and remember when we got home my mom wrapped her arms around me as we sat in her rocking chair.  Finally, after most of my tears had stopped she softly told me to never be afraid of “new beginnings”, and I would repeat third grade the next school year. 

My mother released me from the fear of new beginning when I was 8, a gift I wouldn’t really understand or appreciate until as a young adult I was challenged with some really tough new beginnings.  The evening cancer took my mom after most my tears had stopped, sitting under my favorite tree by the LSU lakes, I heard her voice softly whisper never to be afraid of new beginning.  She’d taught me to be positive, open to new experiences and relationships, to seek support, be realistic, and to be tenacious.  She’d given me the freedom to fail, stand up, brush myself off, and try again.  What’s your “new beginning” attitude?

Mark Rothko – Pockets of Silence

It was an evening where time seem to stop, as I became lost in deep emotions and feelings as we journeyed through the world of Mark Rothko paintings at The Museum of Fine Arts.  This journey might have been very different, but I’d arrived at its door after several weeks of doing my best to cope with a high-stress environment at work.  It wasn’t the first time where work/life stress had begun to take its toll on my well-being, and I’m sure it will not be my last.  But last night as I was pulled into Rothko’s work and mesmerized by the depth of the experience, I realized after six decades of living, I was better at letting go.  Rothko’s final public statement before his suicide included words that speak about our search for the pockets of silence where we can root and grow.  My heart-led mindful meditation and prayer practices have blessed me with pockets of silence, and I like Rothko have found, “Silence is so accurate”.  What life practices bring you pockets of silence?

Bruce Cryer - Playfulness

MD Anderson is deploying Epic to replace an in-house customized electronic health record we have used for years, and I am the “elbow connection” of wellness leading a program designed to strengthen the resilience of the implementation team.  An integrated team from Employee Health, Employee Assistance Program, and Wellness designed quick, fun, daily events and activities targeted to build and sustain resilience.   Each day we offer either a morning energizer or afternoon activator 12-minutes of movement activities.  Tuesday and Thursday we provide 12-minute interactive classes focused on resilience, and Wednesday is wellness fun day offering activities designed to get employees out of their heads and into their hearts. 

Years ago I met Bruce Cryer of HeartMath when he spoke at the National Wellness Worksite Academy.  His words around resilience were powerful, but what I remember most was his face as he talked about playfulness.  Playfulness inspires the willingness to wonder, it brings flexibility, and the ability to better flow with life, which strengthen our resilience.  Yesterday, during water/coffee, bathroom, and lunch breaks employees played with 1,500 dominoes, building domino chains.  What playful activities do you have planned today to get out of your head and into your heart?

MaryBeth - My Wife - My Resiliency Partner

My favorite resilience quote is from Bern Williams the English philosopher who said, “Man never made any material as resilient as the human spirit.”  Many of you remember three years ago when MaryBeth (my wife) was diagnosed with breast cancer.  Her diagnosis added to our already challenging life, and for the first time since we had been together her life force energy was low.  Her breast cancer struck when she had become really good at her caregiver role in my cancer journey, but now we both had cancer.  MaryBeth’s father is Greek, and once her treatments began to slow down, the tenacity of her Greek and English heritage came out, and she immediately went back to the wellness practices that sustain her life force energy.  MaryBeth is a good example of how resilience is more than just bounce back, it’s the ability to do those wellness and well-being practices that ensure we persevere, stay positive and adapt in challenging times.  What are your resilience practices?