Being the Best You in 2106

The last few weeks I’ve been leading meditation walks for patients, caregivers, and employees at the labyrinth on the east side of the Texas School of Public Health.  Drawings of labyrinths have been found in prehistoric rock art across the globe and have been used in many of the world’s religions for growth and renewal.  Unlike a maze with its twists, turns, false starts, and dead ends (for some a metaphor for our life journeys), a labyrinths simple journey frees our minds to relax and search for peace, love, and express gratitude, hope, and love.  Walking a labyrinth can move us closer to resolving inner conflict or discomfort, and can still our minds giving us clarity as we walk to the center of our souls. 

How have you reflected on 2015, gained and accepted new life learnings, and prepared yourself for being the best you can be in 2016?  New Year's resolutions or setting new goals are not enough.  Sharing my labyrinth walks the past few weeks, watching the tears as others let go, listening to walkers at they talk about the clarity or peace the walk gave them, renewed my belief in the importance of the quiet space gained through practices like a labyrinth walk.  On this last day of 2015 take the time to reflect on who you are, where you are going, and how you will be the best you can be in 2016.  Happy New Year!

Christmas Day

I got up early and watched the lake mist greet the rising sun and usher in a new day.  It’s was an amazing Christening ceremony as the geese across the lake declared it was Christmas.  We kayaked after a light breakfast silently gliding across the calm glass covered lake singing our favorite Christmas carols and following a small Blue Heron whose disappearing reflection in the water reminded me of life’s temporariness.  My stamina has been decreasing as my chemo fatigue increases, so after a late brunch, I slept most of the afternoon, waking just in time to catch the early rise of the full moon.  She danced with the building storm clouds like I dance with my chemo fatigue and several times I caught her peeking through the tall pines, and I felt hope as my passion for life was reflected in her dance and presence.  Dance with life today!

Past Christmas Memory Moments

Did you see the moon last night?  She was well hidden by the dark storm clouds, and would peek out every few minutes reminding me of lost memory moments of past Christmases.  Kaleb’s second Christmas he had just turned 1, he was between crawling and walking.  We had no money so we bought him a second-hand plastic riding horse with wheels for $5.  Instead of wrapping it we put it inside a pillowcase, and I so remember him crawling inside the pillowcase, which left only his legs and diaper sticking out as he tried to back out with the horse.  And then there was the Christmas Kaleb was around 2 or 3 and he came into the kitchen with blood dripping from his mouth.  He had pulled a small glass ornament off the tree and bit into it thinking it was candy.  After that experience, we only had wood or paper ornaments on our trees.  After the 1989 rare snow fall, I have fond memories of the whole family making snowballs from the snow left on the two cars and making a miniature snowman.  Make Christmas memory moments this year to be unwrapped years from now as an inside smile.  

Good to be Home

                                                      

Our Mexico vacation was great, but it feels so good to be home.  As we turned into our driveway, we watched Sun Dance our outdoor cat slowly climbed out of his fleece-lined bed and Auggie (our Lagotto Romagnolo) couldn’t wait to get out of the car and give Sun Dance kisses. 

Last Thursday, while watching the storm clouds begin to take over the blue sky, I learned of the passing of Harry, a fellow cancer thriver.  Before the hard rain came, I cried storm tears for my loss, his family's loss, and the loss that will be felt by the many communities he served as MD Anderson’s Chief Diversity Officer.  Today, I celebrate Harry’s life and how much he taught us about the transformational power of heart-led living for individuals, teams, and communities.  Today, let joy push out my tears, for Harry has gone home. 

Spiritual Essence

It’s on beach walks with lava flow sunsets, when I am mesmerized by the soft sound of waves, gentle breezes, that I experience moments when the outside world slowly drifts away.   Moments when I become surrounded by feelings deep within me of being real and alive, and I am wrapped in my spiritual essence.  How many times in my life journey has fear, saddness, or anger increased my susceptibility to the voices of others telling me how I should feel and what is real.  It is during these times my spiritual essence becomes muted, and I lose touch with what makes me real and alive.  Thank God for lava flow sunsets, fresh vibrant flower petals after a rain, and even storm clouds sweeping across a darkened sky that bring us back home to our spiritual essence and feelings of being real and alive.  Breathe in the beauty that surrounds you and your spiritual essence today. 

Courage to Try

Funny how life works, it was years after my mom and dad had both died that I understood and appreciated how hard my dad had worked to pay for my mom’s cancer treatments.  In the end the costs drove our family to bankruptcy, and what I will never forget is my dad’s courage to try!  How many times did I watch my dad fail, but he always seem to come up with the courage to begin again.  Today, as I thought about my birthday tomorrow, I couldn’t help but recognize the influence my dad had on the way I have approached life.  

The beach pier took me past the hot sand, a slight left over deeper water, and then it abruptly ended just before the breakers.  As I walked the pier it became a metaphor for life with all its challenges, my failures, and all the times my life choices meant leaving the safety of the pier.  I was blessed with my dad’s courage to try and my birthday wish 15 minutes before midnight and my birthday is that my life has passed his legacy on…….

Trust in Life’s Awesomeness

Are you, like me, addicted to beautiful sunsets?  The clouds were too perfectly hung in the sky as the reddish orange blush of the setting sun slowly sank in the horizon.  But sunsets, like so much in life, are moments instantly lost as dusk moves to twilight.  December is my birthday month and filled with birthdays of family and close friends, moments of laughter and celebration I try hard not to lose.  Lost in the moment, I caught a purple flower petal that was spinning in the gentle wind, and for just an instant I felt her lightness against my palm.  Slowly I opened my palm and let her purple brilliance mix with the blush of the setting sun, and watched her spin away as the wind lifted her off my palm.  Learning to let go has been one of my hardiness spiritual lessons, a lesson of release, relief, surrender, and trusting in life’s awesomeness.  Trust in life’s awesomeness this holiday season. 

Cirque du Soleil Riviera Maya

Magical moments in life are painted upon my soul with deep emotional brush strokes that color my life forever. Wednesday night I experienced one of these moments as dusk spread across the Cirque du Soleil Riviera Maya with clouds seeking shelter from the darkness and small silent ripples licked reflections off the water.  A warm wind moved across us like gentle fingers as we walked in this moment that would be painted on my soul forever.  May you have magical moments this holiday season.    

Pure Love

Wednesday is new patient day in the Genitourinary Cancer Center, so the front desk is busy and the waiting room chairs close to the clinic doors are usually taken.  We are a bunch of old men who can’t hear and must sit near the doors to ensure we don’t miss our appointments when the nurse calls our names.  After checking in, I looked for an open chair and found one across from a couple about my age.  He wore a Vietnam Vet cap, and I thanked him for his service as I sat down.  Their fingers were softly entwined in a way that suggested they had been together for many lifetimes, and you could feel the concern in her eyes as she looked at his walker.  It has been said that love is the deepest emotion we will ever experience, and watching these two lovers I could feel a love that had transformed into more than the brightest firefly.  In her book haiku mind, Patricia Donegan, describes how love moves us to another level of “being”, where there is no self and no lover – just pure love.  May your holiday be filled with pure love.       

First Light

first light
everything in this room
was already here

**Christopher Herod

Yesterday, was a cancer care day, with diagnostic blood work, and follow-up discussions with my oncologist nurse, research nurse, and advanced practice nurse.  We meet individually and each care for me in their own special way.  This was the first time in months that my numbers looked good, and as I opened the door that leads back to the waiting room a ray of sunlight slowed my progression as I felt a ray pierce my heart and soul.  There are too many days that just happen and I fail to recognize and appreciate what is there for me every day.  The stars and moon of early morning, first light blushes, clouds drifting across a Texas blue sky – all giving me moments of unconditional goodness.  “Be” a part of these moments today. 

Attitude is Everything

Let’s see, what to pack for our upcoming vacation to the Riviera Maya resort in Mexico?  I’ve been loading my Kindle with plenty of fiction and nonfiction books to read and have started laying out the few books from work I really want to bring.  MaryBeth and I always are in the middle of writing projects, so I need to ensure I’ve packed the appropriate flash drives.  She’s already in the midst of deciding outfits, rolling up and packing clothes – that’s like the last thing I’ll do.  Will first I need to do my laundry, so I can pack.  Last night I laid out all the different chargers: phone, Kindle, Kindle Fire, camera, and computer.  What am I leaving off?  Print off the airline tickets, make sure we’ve got the resort reservation paperwork, Global Entry cards, and our passports.  Still feels like I’m missing something?  Oh yea, need to pack up a grandson or two just to make sure I don’t act like an old man who is enjoying doing nothing at the resort.  When have I ever acted like an old man?  Attitude is everything!