Several Fridays ago, I received my fifth different chemo since I started my cancer journey. My last two chemo’s have been infusion therapy, and easy as I relax for several hours as the drugs intravenously enter my body. During the chemo, I listened to one of my Pandora stations on my IPhone and when I walked out, I still had my ear buds plugged in. Walking back to my office I stopped on top of the bayou bridge and listened to Neil Diamond sing You Don’t Bring Me Flowers Anymore. Three lines soaked into my heart, and I remember grabbing the bridge railing as a flood of tears poured down my face. Three simple lines, “I’ve learned how to laugh / And I’ve learned how to cry….. / You’d think I could learn how’d to tell you goodbye.”
The tears wouldn’t stop. There are times the reality of the journey is too much, I walked into my building and found an empty space on the second floor to cry. Through my coaching, I know that all cancer survivors and caregiver feel it; sometimes more on some days, but the fear is there and real. Slowly the tears stopped, I remember feeling lighter as my faith in life, love, and myself returned. It was like swinging on a swing. One moment you feel the weight of life and then as your toes touch the sky, everything drops away as you fly. That night as I told MaryBeth about my experience, and realized how my low moments ensure I swing out really high, touch the sky with my toes, and fly. Have you been swinging on a swing enough lately to touch the sky with your toes and fly?
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