In three hours, MD Anderson’s Interventional Radiology
department will start the biopsy of my liver and intrahepatic bile duct. Yesterday evening I drifted off to sleep with
a bright internal smile created by the emails from my healing circle friends sending
me lots of love. Waking early, I thought
about this past Saturday and the “sorry me” tears I had felt as I left Walmart
with the chair I had bought for my shower.
Months ago, I started drying off, brushing my teeth and putting my
suntan lotion on sitting down, for I didn’t have the morning strength to stand
that long. I am now in a place I know it
would be safer for me to sit in the shower.
Sunday, I sat on our lake house pier to watch the
sunrise. It was a perfect morning with
the trees silhouetted on the glass-covered lake reflecting the pale blush of
morning. In a blink, it was over as the
soft pink blush was swallowed up by the ocean blue sky, and the silhouetted trees
slowly turned green. For a few minutes, I
once again fought back the “sorry me” tears thinking about how fast life had
been. As I watched the bold greens of
the trees return, I realized how grateful I was to my mom who had taught me early
in life to be present for those brief moments that never will be again. A gift from my mom painted on my soul forever
given to all of you today. What will you
do with my gift tomorrow?
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