Being Our Best

My oncologist warned me that the cabazitaxel chemo would have a bit of a kick, so I was thinking that the first week would be tougher, but the kick lasted the whole three-week cycle.  My walking stamina significantly decreased and last week we had a chair lift added to the stairs that lead to our second floor.  As I taught this month, I found it was helpful for me to sit or lean on a chair or table for my standing strength is low. 

The past few months I’ve been teaching mindfulness in many departments and last Thursday evening I was a guest speaker at the MD Anderson Children’s Cancer Hospital Family Council.  The meeting started at 5:30pm with dinner and I didn’t start speaking till 7pm, so by the time I stood to address the group, I was pretty tired.  When I started speaking, I remember pulling up a chair to lean on, and after describing my metastatic cancer journey, I told them, “I’m pretty tired, and maybe at 65%, no I’m probably more like 55%, but I am going to give you my best 55%.”  As I finished my short talk one mom sitting at the front table, immediately stood, grabbed my hand and with tear-filled eyes said, “thank you, I so needed that”, another mom came up behind her and said, “you were talking to me – right?”, and I said yes.  As my cancer journey has gotten tougher, I’ve learned I can’t be 100% all the time, but I can give my best  no matter what percent my energy it at, and being my best fills my spirit and reenergizes my life blood.  Be you best today, no matter how low your live energy feels!  Be You!