Pinched Moments

Tuesday of last week, I met with my oncologist and we decided since my white blood cell count was still low we’d hold off my second round of chemo till today.  Today, my second round was scheduled for 7am so I arrived about 10 minutes early to get an angiocatheter placed in a vein for the 90 minutes of treatment.  By 8am, I realized individuals that had come in after me, were being called in before me, and all the anxiety I held off came roaring back in.  Would this be a half day instead of 90 minutes?  Had they lost the order, or mixed me up with someone else?  We all know the feeling, a “pinched moment” when we lose the power of patience and presence that positively energizes our lives. 

Within a few minutes of reporting my concern to the front desk, a nurse took me to an infusion treatment room, started my prep and the pinched moment disappeared.  As the chemo dripped into my veins I slept and dreamed of another pinched moment I had experienced Saturday at the 5K Sprint for Life run walk.  For many years, I have been the MC at the starting and finishing lines, a role I truly enjoy.  Standing on the stage was an awesome sight, looking down at the thousands of runners and walkers who had come to support and honor women and families with ovarian cancer - I could feel warmth in my heart spread throughout my body. 

I remember calling for the Boy Scouts to Present the Colors.  Then Michelle Reed did a beautiful rendition of the National Anthem, and as she sang, “and the rockets’ red glare, the bombs bursting in air, gave proof through the night that our flag was still there”, I could feel the tears streaming down my face as a pinched moment came on.  My experience has been, not all pinched moments are bad, these are moments we live or relive that become pieces of who we are and who we are becoming.  As a soldier in combat, these words held such deep meaning, about all those that had fought and died for me and my freedom, just like the thousands that had lined up to support and honor the individuals and families facing ovarian cancer.  After my chemo, I made a short stop in the Mays Prayer Room, looked out at the garden and gave thanks for pinched moments.  Next time you face a pinched moment feel it in pride, and take a few deep breaths, to bring back the patience and presence that energize our lives.