A dark sky and the sound of heavy rain drew me to the window
right outside my office door, and as I stood, and watched the storm swirl I was
instantly back to the early 70s and Ranger School as we walked out of the Florida
swamps with Hurricane Agnes pounding on our heels. This memory moment was not about bad storms,
but the firefights we live through and how life trauma becomes a piece of who
we become. We were soaked, dirty, tired,
but walking proud, for we had just finished our last phase of Ranger training,
but this memory moment was also not about pride, but the huge loss I felt as I
watched Vietnam kill off friends. Psychologists
tell us that our past personal memories are guided by our current concerns,
goals, and self-concept. Don’t get me
wrong when I say this, but I am learning how to live as I prepare to die. Those of you who know me well, know that my
life is about living as fully as I can “today”, and probably understand how my
journey and resilience has been strengthened by the huge heart loss I felt as
friends died in Vietnam. What firefights
or trauma have you lived through strengthening your journey, resilience and who
you have become?
1 comment:
Hey Bill,
I've always been a pacifist, never a soldier. Am a contentious objector in the war on cancer.
But, I've been dancing with cancer for oh, 25+ years now...this partner in my body is an aspect of me - my own body's cells. Ours is a tender, tough relationship. I've developed new muscles, new skills, new views into life and death.
Death calls the tune, life is the room and the dance goes on until the music dies.
What a time!
How to find the right metaphors for something that sometimes defies imagination?
Many blessings from a sister in hospice,
Stephanie
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