Lone Warrior - Point Man

Yesterday, MaryBeth and I along with two young cancer survivors talked about our cancer journeys in a Health Psychology class at Rice University.  The first young women had been pregnant with her second child when diagnosed.  Her hospitalization required separation from her baby and for her to miss most of the first year of the baby’s life.  The psychological pain she described was horrific, and she talked about the therapy it took to believe in life again.  The second young lady talked about her rare cancer, remission, and recurrence after six years.  Her story was more about the fight with her parents, and physician to delay treatment so she could freeze her eggs.  A stand she took because she was not willing to give up her dream of becoming a mom one day. 

Their stories reminded me of my cancer journey and how my life experience affected my early years of living with cancer.  Growing up in Louisiana I was very comfortable with the swamps and all its critters, mosquitos, poisonous snakes, spiders, and plants.  During my Ranger training, I gained the nickname Swamp Rabbit, because I was one of the best pointman in my platoon.  Boy Scouts had given me a confidence with a compass and map, I had good outdoor eyes and ears, and a sixth sense about danger.  More importantly, I was confident and comfortable being a “lone warrior”.  My lone warrior skills kept me alive during the real skirmishes I faced on active duty. 

The first five years of my battle with cancer were hard on us as a couple because of my lone warrior approach.  It was hard for me to understand why she was begging me to give up my lone warrior pointman position.  I was leveraging my strengths as a lone warrior and fighting the most important battle of my life.  The same month cancer spread to my lymph nodes, MaryBeth was diagnosed with breast cancer, and I realized it was no longer my battle, but our battle.  We now share the point position, plan our battle tactics together, and fight our cancer battles almost always side-by-side.  I still rely on my warrior skills, but now MaryBeth and I are getting stronger together!