The Rest of the Story

Some days my daily life recollections evoke comments, shared stories or questions.  Yesterday, my romantic Puerto Rico tale brought a swarm of emails asking for the “Rest of the Story”.

Her dad was the head Navy Chaplain in Puerto Rico, so I hitched a ride to the Navy Station and waited with the SPs at the main gate till they felt comfortable in calling the house and reporting my arrival.  It took another hour for a family car to arrive, but after a big hug and introductions to her two younger sisters we started back to the house strategizing the whole way on how to talk her parents into allowing me to be a house guest. 

I remember standing just inside the front door in my unshaven face, long uncombed curly hair, an old army fatigue jacket and beat up boots as her dad’s body language suggested I had made a big mistake.  My first inclination was to salute.   In the end I won her mother over with my southern charm, and spent the week on beautiful beaches, riding the waves and watching the full moon dance across the ocean waves painted across a silver sky - wrapped in love. 

That summer, the people who shared their food and lives with me in the little German community I lived, the orphans I played with and taught to swim, and my Puerto Rico experience all gave me a better understanding of the importance of love.  

Puerto Rico Full Moon

After work last night I rode my scooter to the Bellaire Recreation Center and caught the meditation phase of MaryBeth’s yoga class.  As we walked out I was immediately enthralled by the blush of the rising full moon through clouds painted across the sky like breaking ocean waves, and I was instantly back in Puerto Rico 45+ years ago. 

I’d spent the summer working as a lifeguard at an orphanage in Germany, but my heart was with a friend from LSU who had gone home to Puerto Rico for the summer.  A 19-hour ride on a prop plane took me to New York City, where I found a $50 redeye to Puerto Rico.  Arriving in Puerto Rico at midnight I began to realize my surprise visit might not have been a great idea.  What if she had a boyfriend? What if her parents threw me out?  Rapidly my list of what ifs got longer, till I turned and saw the full moon dancing across the breaking ocean waves and I was once again believing in the goodness of life and love.  Are “what ifs” robbing you of time and life energy?

Change

I woke up at 2 am and thought about change, and how our journeys give us the opportunity to develop the skills and wisdom to accept and grow with change.  Some change, like aging, is slow, giving us time to tinker with life strategies to find out what fits, what works, and what doesn’t work so well.  But it’s the change that happens instantly that is the most challenging and requires us to reach deep within our foundational beliefs and values if we are to persevere. 

The last few weeks, my work life and cancer journey has been filled with change.  My abscessed tooth needs to be pulled, but they can’t pull the tooth unless I take a 3-week vacation/washout from my new chemo.  After hearing my latest challenge a friend ask yesterday, “Will you be okay?”  This morning as I rode my scooter to work, and watched the moon dart between buildings, I smiled as I realized, I’ll be okay for years ago I decided to be a cancer thriver, not just a cancer survivor.  And as a cancer thriver I’ve learned to take life one day at a time.  What will you do to make today special?

Capacity to Care

Weak this weekend from an abscessed tooth I watched the rain as it was whipped around by the wind forming abstract paintings on our lake and mused about my experience Friday night at a “celebration of life” for a fellow cancer thriver who is facing her 6^th bout of cancer in 30 years.  Surrounded by friends, family, and fellow cancer survivors she smiled, gave hugs, and moved like an angel around the room touching all of us with her hope, and love.  Cancer has a way of pulling people together in communities of caring, compassion, and courage.  But the strength of these communities is built from each member’s capacity to care for themselves, for you can’t care for others unless you first care for yourself.  How will you care for yourself this week?

Ice Walkers & New Beginnings

Growing up in Baton Rouge, I can only remember a few winters when it got cold enough for the LSU lakes to freeze over.  What a sight for a young boy that looked for Tom Sawyer life adventures every day with his best friend Gordon.  Awesome sight!  We stood at our favorite raft launching spot looking at the thin sheet of ice that spread across the lakes, “Hey Billy, bet you won’t walk out to the cypress tree”.   Our makeshift flag still hung on its branches that we had left from a triumphal raft sailing the past summer.  For many, taking first steps are always the hardest, but for ice walkers the thrill of the first step is tied to their pursuit to experience the fullness of life.  Ice walkers are never afraid of new beginnings, for they have learned new beginnings are a way we grow into who we are to become.  When was the last time you walked on ice?

Flow – Harnessing Our All

There were a few years when I worked for Tenneco that I would roller skate into work each morning.  It was a 7-8 mile skate and my safest route at 3:30 am was a mix of bayou sidewalks.  Each morning as I approach downtown I would meet up with a large group of cyclists.  One morning I heard from the front, “Sidewalk out ahead”.  That was the last time I skated into work for it took months for my cuts and abrasive injuries to heal.  When inline skates came out I was an earlier adopter, for their single line of wheels had less trouble with road rocks and sticks that are disastrous for a roller skater. 

Why skating?  When I learned to surf in the mid-60s, it was also my introduction into my understanding flow.  You know the feeling, effortless control of our actions while fully immersed in an energized focus of harnessing all of who we are.  The rhythm of skating, like surfing, takes me to a place of almost instant flow.  Last year, after my cancer spread to my hip bones, my oncologists suggested I give up skating.  It took me a while to find another flow activity, but this year I started beading and teaching “hope and healing” bracelet classes at MD Anderson.  Last night as I worked on a bracelet for MaryBeth using very small agate and coral beads, I was once again was riding the waves of flow.  How do you connect to flow?

Forever Gifts

What have my life experiences taught me?  In high school, I quickly learned that I would never be good at basketball, no matter how hard I tried.  My right eye is my sighting eye, and I toss a basketball with my left hand, making accuracy impossible.  So during basketball season I helped sell and collect tickets before the games with a boy who was several classes ahead of me.  Our soldiers were just starting to be killed in Vietnam, but that was so far away, and then one night my basketball ticket partner was killed when his car was hit by a train.  It was my first experience with the death of someone who had been a part of my life, and had touched my life in his special way.  My mother would die in a few years, and I would lose friends in Vietnam, but my basketball ticket partner’s death – taught me death doesn’t take away the special way people touch your life.  These are forever gifts.  What forever gifts will you touch someone with