Achim Nowak's The Moment

Have you seen the latest book by Achim Nowak called The Moment: A Practical Guide to Creating a Mindful Life in a Distracted World?  Yesterday was my cancer care day, and I had a list of questions for my oncologists about my decreasing stamina and weight loss. Since November, I have had to learn to better pace my walking and physical work and sit down when I am tired.  This has been harder on MaryBeth and friends that have never really seen me out of energy, but for me, it has become my way to stay engaged in life, just slower. 

As I sat in a treatment room waiting for my oncologist I pulled out The Moment and started rereading the section on craving meaning.  Purpose, meaning and passion have always been major drivers in my life, and as I read, I felt most of my life I have lived these words.  Achim talks about Barbara Fredrickson concept of “micro-moments of love”, or the moments of pure positive energy, we share with others.  I reread these pages several times realizing I was having an epiphany.  In my new slower world, I am learning to fall back in love with each micro-moment of life.  Fall in love with life’s micro-moments today.      

Joy Pure Life Energy

  
The weather in Atlanta had been much colder than Houston, with the temperatures dipping into the teens, so I had taken my winter overcoat, Russian hat, and gloves.  It was a gray, winter day when the plane took off and climbed through the thick clouds.  The sunset painted multiple striations of cloud layers across the sky and as I drifted asleep, I felt the sadness we feel when we fear there will not be enough time.  Most days I wrap myself in the courage of hope, faith, and love shared with family, friends, and fellow cancer survivors.  However, there are moments when fear stretches into loneliness, and tears.   What I’ve learned is that I will have moments of thin layers of fear surrounded by multiple layers of the joy, pure life energy.  Today, stretch past the thin layers of fear into deep layers of joy.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        

Impossible to the Possible

This weekend winter storm Jonas buried a large portion of the Northeast with record snowfalls, storm tides, and hurricane force winds.  Thursday evening Michael and I had flown into what we thought would be a sunny Orlando for a pre-site visit for the upcoming AJHP conference, but Jonas had cooled even central Florida to the mid-30s to low-50s.  We had hoped to enjoy a waterpark on Saturday afternoon, but it was too cold, so instead we walked Disney Springs, people watched, and talked about life. 

After supper, we went to the Cirque du Soleil and watched dancers, and fearless performances of physical strength and balance.  As we walked out into the cold at the end of the show, I was stopped by the full moon hung on one of the cross-beams of the House of Blues water tower.  Like the full moon glow, I felt an internal smile that reminded me of the fearlessness of many of my fellow cancer survivors and caregivers who have turned an impossible life into days filled with joy, hope, and the possible.  Fill your days with the possible!

Relearning Joy

When I left the Army and returned home to Baton Rouge, my dad asked me what I planned to do, and I I told him with my military police background I had set up an interview with the Baton Rouge Police Department.  As I walked up the sidewalk to my interview an older cop walked with me and after listening to my story, he stopped me and told me not to go to my interview for I was not meant to be a cop.  I walked away from the interview and started struggling around what I really wanted to do. 

Within several weeks, I received a letter from the CIA and I requested an interview, but that also didn’t feel right.  At some point, my mom’s happiness around being a teacher felt right, so I started taking prerequisite courses at LSU to become a teacher.  By then my hair was long / fizzy and I was teaching macrame classes at the student crafts center.  I was beginning to feel at home without my dog tags, and discovering a warmer, calmer billy who was relearning the joy of life moments.  Be open to the joy of life moments today.        

My Favorite Day

What a weekend.  I came back from teaching with the Center for Disease Control (CDC) Friday night after seeing many old friends.  The CDC work I’ve been involved in over the past few years is starting to take traction and it is very exciting.  Saturday, MaryBeth and I slept in and just hung out making plans for watching the Chevron Houston Marathon on Sunday, and a working on few small home projects on Monday.  Sunday, many friends who were running the marathon passed by our house on University, so it was a great day for hugs and high-fives.  Monday, our home project work went wild and by 7 pm, I was tuckered out.  Today I’m still low on energy and had to remind myself that my 2^nd chemo that stops tomorrow for a week always kicks my butt.  I’ve led three labyrinth walks today, and after the last walk, as I watched the participants walk away, I thought even though this was a tough day, it was still as Pooh says, “My favorite day”, for I was here to enjoy it.  Be mindful of the specialness each day brings.  

Love Heals

It was the summer before I headed for UNT in Denton, and we both needed a little time off before I started the grind of graduate school.  We packed up the bed of my old green pickup with camping gear, food supplies and clothing then covered it with a blue tarp.  The drive was challenging since the truck had bad shocks, and did not have power steering or an air conditioner, but we were young, on an adventure, and in love.  Carlsbad Caverns, Mesa Verde, and Royal Gorge are some of my camping memories as we wandered through New Mexico and Colorado.  It was a wet summer and all our gear stayed wet, finally forcing us to turn around and head home.  That summer I replaced memories of too many horrific medivac rides, and the trauma of my broken back with moments of cotton candy clouds, lava flow sunsets, and wrapped in the deep healing arms of love.  Let go and love…….

Light Up Your Heart

Harry Gibbs memorial service was on Saturday, led by Chaplains Gail Kennebrew and Stephen Findley, and attended by many of his friends and co-workers from MD Anderson.  Harry was 6’7”, a cardiologist and Chief Diversity Officer, but what made him special was the way he cared about others and life. 

One of my morning rituals was to walk down his hallway in hopes of catching him, for Harry and I shared cancer journeys.  We would talk briefly and before I walked away, he would reach down and place his hand on my shoulder, no words, just an expression of caring and love.  I longed for his touch this morning, for love touches us at our core and opens our hearts to life’s goodness even in suffering.  Nepo writes, “There is no substitute for going through things together” for it is through caring we learn the power of presence that lights up our hearts and lives.  Give someone a caring “touch” today and light up your heart!

Rainbow Feathers

When was the last time you saw a rainbow?  Many believe that these magical arcs of color spread across the sky at times when our hearts need a touch of life energy filled with liquid love.  A friend gave me rainbow feathers for Christmas, and each day as I pass through my office door I feel their gentle touch.  A touch that reminds me of the spiritual freedom and grace I receive each day as I live my life as a gift.  Do you have any rainbow feathers in your life?                                

   

Being Home

  

The ocean has always felt like home and I have no doubt the “being home” feeling grew from my trip as a newborn on a huge ship that took my family to Japan to be with my dad who was part of the occupation force after WWII.  The constant motion of the waves crashing into or gently caressing the shore and the pulling and pushing of underwater currents remind me of the emotional / spiritual challenges I feel deep inside every day.  As an old goofy foot surfer, I loved the feeling of being “one with the wave” and now with my daily cancer journey, I do best when I am one with myself or what I call being home.  A big part of being home is being present to all our feelings, to others, and the constant goodness of life that surrounds us.  Practice “being home”!

Why am I here?

Yesterday got tough after I spoke with one of my coaching clients about their Christmas and learned of a family tragedy that had occurred during the holidays.  All day I felt the tears as I thought about how unfair and hard life can be.  Turning in our driveway after a Tuesday date night supper I caught a quick glance of a large dark cat darting between cars on the parking lot across the street.  I immediately thought it might be Sweet Boy, our Norwegian Forest cat that disappeared last year, but it wasn’t. 

   

Thinking of Sweet Boy reminded me of his long soft fur, his high pitched meow, deep purr, and tender moments he and I shared.  Slowly my sadness moved off as I thought about other tender moments I’ve shared, like the golden sunsets when all the goodness in the universe paints the sky.  Or walking through a sea of wildflowers and feeling their smiles as they are gently kissed by the morning dew.  Our life memory moments affect how we see the world, how we treat the world, how we treat others and ourselves.  Why am I here?  For me today, it’s all about creating and sharing more tender memory moments “we” can recall on those days when life becomes unfair and hard, and we’ve lost hope.  

Engagement

Yesterday afternoon, as MaryBeth and I played with our grandkids I was reminded how hard we must work to fully engage ourselves and employees in wellness.  We first played with a box of multicolored frisbee’s  going from partner toss to a game of tossing the frisbee into a laundry basket.  They quickly lost interest as the frisbee toss games became too complicated (baby steps in wellness builds engagement), so we moved to hockey sticks and brooms with an upside down frisbee as the puck.  The oldest grandson got more engaged in broom hockey and started making up the rules (engagement takes ownership), which caught the attention of his younger brother, who began playing even harder.  I found a plastic bat and ball in the garage and for a short time we had a batter and pitcher, but our baseball game didn’t last long for it only involved two players and got boring quick (wellness engagement happens by meeting our needs and interest).  Next I dumped a backpack full of small rubber balls onto the driveway and Auggie, our dog, went wild chasing the grandkids and balls.  What fun!  Yes, fun and celebration are important ingredients of wellness engagement.   When it was almost time to break up the fun I brought out my old cornet I played in high school.  With MaryBeth’s help (professional support is great, but peer support is critical for engagement), our youngest grandson blew what sounded like Jingle Bells and became mesmerized by the different sounds he could make.  How will you successfully ENGAGE yourself or your employees this year in being well?

Step into 2016

Who have you become, and where are you going, and how will you be the best you in 2016?  This past week the January issue of Workforce: Business & Strategy and Management journal featured me as their profile piece.  They interviewed me about two months ago and sent a photographer to take pictures at my favorite places around MD Anderson.  Each time I read the profile I smile at a few errors, like I was 5 when my mom was diagnosed with colon cancer not her, and I tried hard to get assigned to an airborne unit in my Army tour, but never got released from my MP duties protecting nuclear weapons.  I also feel the tears as I read and go back to medivac rides where I held dying soldiers in my arms, and breaking my back after my Army tour in a freak car accident that changed where life would take me.  When I think about who I have become I can’t help but thank so many others that have helped me stretch and grow.  Bob Patton & Peter Raven at UNT, Dr. Ed Bernacki at Tenneco, and Dr. Georgia Thomas and Paul Kattapong at MD Anderson.  Being my best is getting harder as my daily oral chemo’s challenge my stamina, but I’m learning to better pace myself, and focus on the daily wellness practices that sustain not just my energy, but how I feel about myself.  If you haven’t already, take the time today to consider who you have become, where you are going, and how you will be the best you in 2016.  Then get ready to stretch and grow as you mentor others, and others mentor you.   

Workforce Article