Hug Backs & Stillness

He was on his second round of chemo and sleep was easy, but even in sleep he was having a hard time turning off his anxious mind.  There are moments in my day I stop everything to experience stillness, and in these moments I am hugged by the “be” within me.  For most, our days are hijacked by our “do” driving us to maximize each moment and be called high achievers.  But it’s the “be” within us that serves as our pilot lights, and reignites our passion for living.  I’ve learned that in these moments of stillness, hug backs to the “be” within me, keeps my pilot light lit.  Find more moments of stillness in 2015 and feel the glow.   

Well-Being Centric Life Journey

We are two days away from 2015 and even if you don’t believe in New Year’s resolutions, most of us can’t help but think about how we want 2015 to be a better year.   After parking my truck, I walked in with a nurse that had worked through the holidays, and talking with him reminded me of my own effort to better fit work with other pieces of my life.  In a HBR article, Work-Life “Balance” Isn’t the Point, the author suggest we strive to be effective in all aspects of our life by better aligning and blending our many roles.  This effort redefines life success, and gets us back in control of a well-being centric life journey.

Music of Life

Christmas morning I woke up with a little boy’s excitement about the presents under the tree.  Tradition in my family required us to be fully dressed, breakfast eaten, and teeth brushed before we could start opening presents. I quickly got out of bed, and just as quickly realized I was no longer that little boy, but the excitement stayed.  After dressing, I stood on our lake house pier wrapped in an excitement for life as I watched the fog silently dance across the water.  Today let the excitement of past moments and future possibilities surround you with the music of life. 

Fragile Scent of Today

Yesterday, I had an email conversation with a friend who was just waking up in Byron Bay Australia to the sweet sounds of the magpies, and who plans to surf Christmas day.  Morning came early today with the sounds of surf and the rolling feeling as waves pass underneath my surf board, it’s like being gently rocked by the hand of God.  Fleeting memories circle my soul like a soft ocean breeze, past moments I try hard to embrace, realizing if I blink all will disappear.  It’s impossible not to blink, as morning whispers my name and I am caressed / blessed with another day.  Be mindful of the fragile scent of today.

Fragile Scent of Today

Yesterday, I had an email conversation with a friend who was just waking up in Byron Bay Australia to the sweet sounds of the magpies, and who plans to surf Christmas day.  Morning came early today with the sounds of surf and the rolling feeling as waves pass underneath my surf board, it’s like being gently rocked by the hand of God.  Fleeting memories circle my soul like a soft ocean breeze, past moments I try hard to embrace, realizing if I blink all will disappear.  It’s impossible not to blink, as morning whispers my name and I am caressed / blessed with another day.  Be mindful of the fragile scent of today.

Ripples of Mindfulness

I’ve reached a stage in my life where I work at maximizing every minute of my journey, yet my daily thirst for internal peace is usually experienced for just a few moments each day.  But these moments of internal peace are like water ripples providing an internal peace throughout my day.  Each day becomes an adventure filled with calming moments to be claimed, moments that become powerful ripples of internal peace.  I’ve reached a stage in my life where I’ve learned that maximizing every minute is all about the ripples created by my mindfulness.

Life Sounds

They had chosen an oblong booth, and I slid in next to my oldest grandson Robert.  He’s a hugger and immediately gave me a hug that only grandsons can give.  He couldn’t wait for me to open my present, but first his mom had him read what he had written on the wrapping paper, and his eyes sparked.  Ever notice how much the sounds of life matter?  A shadow caught in the winds whisper as it bends around a tree, rain drops reflecting the sun’s rays like miniature rainbows, a shy moon circling around the trees, and the sound of love, “Happy Birthday Grandpa”!  Today be mindful of the life sounds around you that matter. 

Touched by an Angel

By 7:15am the nuclear medicine tech had injected a radiotracer into my vein, and told me to come back around 9am for the scan.  I headed for breakfast, but realized I had a different kind of thirst, so I walked over to one of my favorite sacred spaces in Mays Clinic the Water Wall.  A young man was standing there, and we talked briefly, and I walked away still thirsty.  Halfway down the sky bridge I heard someone calling, and turned to find the young man, “Mr, out of your heart flow’s the river of life”.  We hugged, and then he was gone, as I stood with tears streaming down my face realizing I’d been touched by an angel.  Listen to your heart today.

Happy Birthday Billy

Wow!  Came to work today to find a “turkey” sitting in my chair and he looks like he started my birthday party without me.  Thanks Team!  What have I learned after 66 years?  Life is an adventure of being, learning who we are and the energy we become through the synergy of our body-mind-spirit connections.  Connections that are energized at the cellular level when we quiet our minds and are mindfully present in the moment.  My birthday gift to myself is a line from Thich Nhat Hanh, “The mind can go in a thousand directions, but on this path I walk in peace”. 

Life Bench

My dad waited patiently as I sat on the bench.  He missed my 1st football game because of business travel, but when he returned he beamed, when I told him all about the game and showed him my broken finger.  Riding my 1st medevac the soldier we were transporting gripped my wrist hard, and I swear I heard my father’s voice, “You did well”.  Yesterday, my cancer markers called for body/bone scans, but I left smiling as I thought about the string of birthday’s my son started in November.  My daughter’s birthday was yesterday, grandson today, mine is tomorrow and another grandson on Thursday; plenty of Baun’s sitting on the bench we call life, waiting to be called up to hear our father say, “You did well”.  Pass on the goodness of life today! 

Cancer Leash

Today is a cancer care day.  It will start in a few hours at the diagnostic center (blood / specimen collection) where many anxious individuals will be waiting.  Early in my cancer journey I heard a man talking about his 3 month “leash” on life, and I remember thinking, I’ll never live like that, but I did.  Each 3-month checkup was a nightmare of watching my cancer markers, and then one day when my cancer markers weren’t doing so well, but life was, I simply let go of the leash.  Instantly, I was re-energized by the courage of letting go, and felt its healing fullness in my soul.  Today, let go and be re-energized by life.    

Vietnam and Autumn Leaves

It was the summer before college and I was working as a hiking counselor at a camp in the White Mountains.  My mother was in her last year of her life, and thousands were losing their lives in Vietnam, but both were so far away.  Just off the trail I was headed for some real food, and reading letters from my mom.  I remember stopping, walking to the lakes edge as the tears flowed and I read the line over and over, that a friend had died in Vietnam.   The next year, cancer would take my mom, but I would remember her words about my friend’s death in Vietnam, “Billy, he’s gone to a better place”, as I laid autumn leaves on her coffin.  Be open to the lessons / blessing adversity gives. 

Do More, Be More, Now!

All of us, at times hear only our inner critic that pushes so hard and fast we stay stuck in what Daniel Siegel, in his book The Mindful Therapist, has called an unintegrated state.  Our lives fill up with missed moments, as we become stuck in the chaos of non-mindfulness.  As I coach individuals with advanced cancers, many talk about the overwhelming need to not waste a minute of life.  I’ve lived this rush as an advanced cancer survivor, and then one day was stopped by the weight of the missed moments dragging far behind.  Harness the power of mindfulness and not waste a minute of life! 

Clinton Foundation Halfday Conference

Today I spoke at the Clinton Foundation / Shape Up Houston “Best Practices in Inproving Employee Health” halfday conference.  My session was Tobacco Free Implementation, and the bottom-line of my talk was becoming a tobacco free worksite is a journey, not a destination!  Most companies implement tobacco free policies and then forget they exist.  Tobacco is still the #1 preventable KILLER in the U.S., and each year companies need to renew their fight against tobacco.  How do you renew the fight?  Start with being truthful about how you are doing on the bullet points in the attached slide.   

Joy Showers

I’d just walked off the sky bridge and saw him sitting alone by the big front windows.  We talked about the deep blue of the Texas sky and how much we both enjoyed the gardens surrounding MD Anderson.  Like me, he is a fourth stage cancer survivor, and he pointed to the bandage on his neck, his third metastasis.  But we didn’t linger on our cancers; but talked instead about family and the approaching holiday season.  As he talked about family holiday traditions, his smile grew and I was blessed with a joy shower.  Share a smile today and give someone a joy shower. 

All Over Again

Some nights I sleep in the past, maybe it’s an old habit hard to break from when I lived on morphine as I lay in the hospital in the late 70s with a broken back.  The morphine affected my eyesight, so I couldn’t read or watch TV.  So for six months, I relived my 27 years, and the high and low points brought too many tears, but also the gift of getting to do all over again.  Lost life moments filled with life’s passion flowed within me each night energizing my soul.  Some nights we sleep in the past, working hard at remembering those times we want to forget – life lessons that energize the “be” within us. 

Dance with the Solitude of Your Soul

Some Fridays, I crave the solitude of my inner space, and lean on my reflective practices to gain a few moments of peace away from the outside world.  Today I worked on an old poem and practiced dancing with the solitude of my soul.  // Most of my poems / Are written inside out / They are tiny windows into my soul / Sentence fragments never spoken / Words linked in odd ways / Reflections of feelings and emotions / Imprints of memories long forgot / Who I am when I am not / A dance with the solitude of my soul

Impermanence in Being You

Watching the rose colored sunset spread across the tree tops reminded me of my impermanence.  One of my favorite morning rituals is to look in the bathroom mirror, see my dad in my face, and share heart-to-heart dad / son talks.  What’s neat about this ritual is that many times we are talking about things I am having a hard time addressing in my normal self-talk.  Why am I having these deep conversations with my dad?  There is something about us now being the same age, sharing similar life experience, or maybe it’s just more years of feeling his love.  Enjoy your impermanence today as you practice being you. 

Morning Monet Thoughts

The morning sun had risen, but my morning thoughts were still softly wrapping around my soul with deep colors as the cool breeze swept across our lake.  I watched a Monet painting come to life and my thoughts went to his life, and how after his wife’s death he created some of his best paintings.  Life’s difficulties have a way of bringing out the best in us if we allow ourselves the patience to heal, and the courage to redefine who we will be.  Tiptoe through your morning thoughts today as they lightly touch your soul and appreciate how awesome it is to be alive. 

Camellia Memories

She seemed to blush as I walked by, so I finally stopped and took a picture of the camellia bloom on the bush by our front door.   My mother fell in love with camellias when we lived in Japan and planted bushes in our yard in Baton Rouge.  We would visit Mr. Burbank who lived several streets away, and they would sit for hours drinking coffee and enjoying the smells and colors of his camellia filled backyard.  In her final fight with her cancer, Mr. Burbank brought her a bowl of camellias each day till she died.  Camellias might not have cured her cancer, but I watched his gift soothe her soul.  Consider the gifts you give others today. 

Thanksgiving 2014

MaryBeth, Mary (Marybeth’s mom) and I spent Thanksgiving holiday at our lake house that sits on Lake Mt. Pleasant in the middle of Sam Houston National Forest.  The forest is covered with pines of winter green, and hardwoods dressed in burnt orange and yellows.  I woke up early Thanksgiving morn and watched the rising sun burn the mist off the water, and realized this day we would celebrate “what’s not wrong”.  Tears rolled down my face as I felt love from family, friends and a world filled with so much untapped healing energy. Be mindful of what’s not wrong and tap into a life energy filled with joy and peace.